[Dorian's response is met with a series of small nods of understanding... until he mentions Petrov, because then Toby stops to think about all this. The topic of conversation, the damage Dorian has done and is trying to repair... because Dorian felt betrayed and wanted to prove he could keep someone close to him whilst simultaneously hurting someone else.
Dorian's feelings for Yuri were strong enough that he could replace Toby, couldn't he? Oh, it makes Toby sick. He hates that Dorian fell for Yuri, he hates that Yuri came to love Dorian and killed him anyway, and he hates that he can't just make Yuri forget all about Dorian. What's more, even if he did do something like that, it would only make Dorian work that much harder to get Yuri's attention!
So Toby's expression sours, gradually changing into a look that's a mix of sulky, wounded disgust.]
...Because you wanted him back, didn't you? [He swallows.] I mean, even after what happened, you still. Wanted. And if you couldn't have him, then his attention might have been enough, but he'd been Ported out, so you needed to do something. And that's how you came up with this project, this idea that Chilton gave you. You got buried so deep in it, didn't even matter that I showed up.
[It's hard, not being good enough to get Dorian back from all this, all the things that happened in this world, the ways it's affected him as an unchanging man. That hurt shows, it bleeds into his pained tone of voice, the way he's on the verge of just breaking down, the way he looks ready to storm away and never return.]
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Dorian's feelings for Yuri were strong enough that he could replace Toby, couldn't he? Oh, it makes Toby sick. He hates that Dorian fell for Yuri, he hates that Yuri came to love Dorian and killed him anyway, and he hates that he can't just make Yuri forget all about Dorian. What's more, even if he did do something like that, it would only make Dorian work that much harder to get Yuri's attention!
So Toby's expression sours, gradually changing into a look that's a mix of sulky, wounded disgust.]
...Because you wanted him back, didn't you? [He swallows.] I mean, even after what happened, you still. Wanted. And if you couldn't have him, then his attention might have been enough, but he'd been Ported out, so you needed to do something. And that's how you came up with this project, this idea that Chilton gave you. You got buried so deep in it, didn't even matter that I showed up.
[It's hard, not being good enough to get Dorian back from all this, all the things that happened in this world, the ways it's affected him as an unchanging man. That hurt shows, it bleeds into his pained tone of voice, the way he's on the verge of just breaking down, the way he looks ready to storm away and never return.]