hisheartsdesire | [ic] Contact

I get it, you just want to be sure.

[No really, he gets it. She still doesn't trust him, and why should she?]

He's already something else.
Maybe that's why he won't turn.
Now that I think about it, I don't know how it works with imPorts.

Edited 2015-09-28 05:14 (UTC)

i dont want anyone getting hurt thats all
im sorry for being so blunt tobias
have you fed from many imports?

Well then find some other way of dealing with it! I miss you, Toby. I want to see you.

It's fine. [It isn't, really.]
Only three.
Dorian and two other breeds of immortals.
The one I'm with now and Dorian volunteer their blood.
And I have to negotiate deals with the other if I want his.
I try to do that sparingly since the mess back at your place.

After all this, I don't deserve to see you.
Sorry.

[This would be so much easier if Dorian could actually be mad at him. Because then he wouldn't feel so stupid and ashamed as he does right now, for suspecting Dorian was with someone else and covering it up with excuses. What's worse, it bothers him that he wouldn't mind Drew having him again; in fact, he almost craves the heat and passion and attentiveness...]

Please understand.
I don't want to ask too much of you.
But I really need time and space to work this out.

[ He doesn't want to do this. Dorian does not want this to happen. So he just kind of stares at the camera before. ]

Okay. If you truly think you need it, then I'll...I'll give you that time and space. But I've still got your stuff! And I'm holding it hostage so that you'll have to come and see me sometime. [ he knows it sounds childish. But Dorian's tone of voice is so much more yearning, so much more pleading than simply petty childishness. ]

[ring, ring, ring.]

Hello, Tobias speaking. Who is this?

Hey, Tobias, uh.

This is Billy Kaplan?

I was one of the hostages at the hotel. With Dorian?

["With Dorian." Even with the mention of the hostage situation, Toby feels his heart shatter again. He tries not to sound too miserable when he replies, but there's an obvious shift in his tone.]

... Oh. Right. The one in the pictures, aren't you?

[Pictures?

WHAT PICTURES?????

He almost squawks that, but now is not the time, Kaplan-]

I'm the one who kissed your boyfriend, yeah, I'm sorry, to begin with, I didn't know he had a boyfriend, and that's just not okay on my part-

But also, it wasn't because I was into him, it was a distraction because the crazy lady that was holding us hostage kept making us have fun and we were trying to talk about how to get out but her people got suspicious-

-and let me reiterate I'm sorry? He didn't have anything to do with my bad ideas, but-

...when you say pictures.

[He's deathly silent while listening to Billy's explanation. Since Sasha had mentioned the hostage situation, Toby's been stewing in guilt, and the hows and whys suddenly don't matter anymore.

But to answer about the pictures? There's a choked sob when he starts speaking, and obvious hurt in his voice.]

Yeah. Um... Don't have to look too hard to find them. [Here, his attempt at being light-hearted fails, and his voice cracks.] Just look Dorian up on rumblr. Or yourself, for that matter.

[An audible swallow.] I guess I could see how you wouldn't know he has a boyfriend. I don't exist. Don't worry about me, though—I'm not important.

negotiate deals? that sounds

[ Shady? ]

is this person trustworthy themselves?

Oh. God. Okay. I'll.

Handle that.

[God. Why.]

Hey-

[No, wait. Billy's voice softens a lot, he sounds kind of distressed now, but the kind of distressed that comes with trying to make someone calmer, a bit, while being sorry.]

No, no, it's totally not-

Look, I didn't know because I'm not friends with Dorian, okay? I'm sure you're a really upstanding guy, but-

Does Dorian make you feel that way?

[Dammit, how is he supposed to answer this?]

If I'm to be perfectly honest, then the answer is that I don't really know.
Things with him are somewhat complicated.
But he's not all bad. And sometimes accidents happen.
I'm really sorry about the mess back then, by the way.
It would've made much more sense if I'd taken it outside.
Bad judgment call on my part.

[He wonders why he's still apologizing when he doesn't live with them, and they made it perfectly clear that he's the problem. Hearing anything sketchy about anyone else involved only continues to build their case against him.]

[ Hang on a second. She's slowly putting two and two together. ]

tobias did that person you made a deal with do that back then

[ Was there someone else in the house then? ]

Of course not! No, Dorian's— [Mentioning the name has the effect of putting the brakes on, his voice softens and becomes almost tender.] Dorian has almost always said that I'm the best thing that ever happened to him.

[Then his voice is mournful and filled with guilt.]

He loves me. He loves me, and I... I was so stupid, I didn't trust him. I'm paying for it now, I'm certain.

He didn't do it on purpose.
It happened on our way out.

Well, he asked me to explain this, so I get the feeling he probably isn't planning on leaving you about it.

Look, you might want to talk to him. I thought kissing him was awful, but then I'm not in love with him, okay?

[He manages to compose himself, though he still feels stupid, guilty, and miserable.]

Then, thanks for explaining. I'm... sorry, I'm really the one at fault here because I should've given him a chance after seeing the photos. Instead I just took off and— [No, he just met Billy and can't possibly confide in just anyone.] Anyway, I can't promise anything, I can't face him right now, and if he asks anything about this, you've done whatever you could. The rest of this is on me.

Good luck, okay?

But I don't think you'll need it.

I think he's pretty much waiting for you.

Thanks. I think.

[He sighs.]

Let me just clear things up a bit. Originally, I ran off because of what I thought he did. Now, I'm staying away because of something I did. I don't know how else to explain this to him, I don't know that he understood when I tried to, but I just want to set the record straight since you did the same upon his request.

[Billy's quiet a minute-]

You can't waste time like that here. You never know when someone will just leave you here.

...I'll have deserved that, too, if it should happen. Besides, if either one of us goes back, I'm pretty certain we'll be in the same boat. That's the way I'd arrived here, it only serves that's exactly what I'll go back to. And he knows it, he knows what happened. There is no happy ending.

Edited 2015-09-29 00:02 (UTC)

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