[ic] Contact

[hisheartsdesire]

Tobias may one day learn to change the greeting on his voicemail. Until then, there's only the default.

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[rathercommon]

So - are you all right?

[hisheartsdesire]

Hello, Kitty. Long time, no see.
If you mean at this very moment, I think I'm all right.
Some time has passed since that debacle, and I'm far less ill than when it had happened.

[rathercommon]

You were ill? What do you mean?

[hisheartsdesire]

He'd said a lot of things on the network.
I had contacted him privately about the incident.
At the time, I'd mentioned feeling ill since coming back.
It's something I'd never felt before. [Here, he avoids mentioning having died once in this world already.]
I don't know that he'd mentioned to anyone else that he'd created some sort of bond between us.
A pack bond. I could feel his emotions, even taste them sometimes.
Adjusting to that had made me nauseous.

[rathercommon]

I see. Do you still have that connection?

[hisheartsdesire]

Yeah, I do still have it.
It doesn't seem the sort of thing that simply fades away over time.
But there's another imPort who is both vampire and werewolf.
She'd given me some advice on dealing with this sort of thing.
So it's become just a little easier to focus on myself and my own emotions.

[rathercommon]

So - this happened because he hurt you? You have to deal with these effects because of that?

[hisheartsdesire]

Perhaps. Though it might be more complicated than just that.
I hurt him as well. Not physically, no.
That doesn't change the things that happened before this debacle.
Actually, it's really hard to think where all this began.
All I can really tell is where it is right now.
Even that seems sort of a blur.

[rathercommon]

How did you hurt him?

[hisheartsdesire]

The whole of it is rather embarrassing, namely on my part.
I confided in Drew after having a misunderstanding with Dorian that led me to end our relationship.
So Drew took me in, cared for me, and fed me while I tried to cope with it.
Though it took a couple weeks to make things up with Dorian.
And so I left Drew's place, leaving him only a text when I should have waited to tell him in person.
Not that I'm saying that warranted death, but I'm the one who was wrong to both Drew and Dorian in the first place.

[rathercommon]

He murdered you because you weren't very considerate when dating him? Is that really it?

[hisheartsdesire]

[Toby is confused. Why can't Kitty see this is his fault?

Also, it wasn't dating! Not... really.]

I don't know.
If he took it so badly, I don't know how the wolf inside him must've taken it.
Bad enough to get inebriated, for certain. One can only make so many good decisions in that state.

[rathercommon]

SO HE OUGHTN'T HAVE GOTTEN PISSED. Oh my GOD. Was that seriously all? You didn't threaten him, or insult him, or hit his bloody cat with your car, or anything?

[hisheartsdesire]

No, I did none of those things.
Wait, I did bump into him in the haunted house during last month's swear-in event.
I don't know that really counts.
Though when he initially reacted, I had told him that I'd try not to bother him from then on.

[rathercommon]

How did he react to you then? In the haunted house.

[hisheartsdesire]

Angry, cruel, and wanted nothing to do with me.
He was running from the things up there.
Our powers weren't working for some reason.

[rathercommon]

Well, now I see why he didn't want to answer how you'd wronged him. You hadn't.

[hisheartsdesire]

None of that counts?
I mean, at the time, I still felt bad about the way I had run off.

[rathercommon]

OK? It's your right to feel bad. It's not his to get violently angry about it. If he wanted to grouse to his mates about it, that'd be one thing. But actually getting abusively angry? No.

[hisheartsdesire]

Well, no.
Telling me off should've been good enough, and I tried to respect that.
I wasn't insinuating I deserved to die for what happened.

[rathercommon]

Well, he basically WAS.

[hisheartsdesire]

I see.
It probably happened because our feelings turned us against each other.
I don't know he feels exactly like that right now.
But there seems to always be this lingering feeling as if I'm doing things wrong.
At any rate, I could ignore it with some effort.
I wish people didn't have to see or know about all that.

[rathercommon]

Well, I wish he weren't such a raging arsehole!

[hisheartsdesire]

He isn't like that all the time.
But I do have to agree with you.
Because he did take it too far.

[rathercommon]

I can kick his arse for you.