Tobias "Toby" Matthews (
hisheartsdesire) wrote2015-11-08 06:56 pm
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[ic] Contact

Tobias may one day learn to change the greeting on his voicemail. Until then, there's only the default.
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**Some thread content may be NSFW**
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If you mean at this very moment, I think I'm all right.
Some time has passed since that debacle, and I'm far less ill than when it had happened.
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I had contacted him privately about the incident.
At the time, I'd mentioned feeling ill since coming back.
It's something I'd never felt before. [Here, he avoids mentioning having died once in this world already.]
I don't know that he'd mentioned to anyone else that he'd created some sort of bond between us.
A pack bond. I could feel his emotions, even taste them sometimes.
Adjusting to that had made me nauseous.
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It doesn't seem the sort of thing that simply fades away over time.
But there's another imPort who is both vampire and werewolf.
She'd given me some advice on dealing with this sort of thing.
So it's become just a little easier to focus on myself and my own emotions.
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I hurt him as well. Not physically, no.
That doesn't change the things that happened before this debacle.
Actually, it's really hard to think where all this began.
All I can really tell is where it is right now.
Even that seems sort of a blur.
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I confided in Drew after having a misunderstanding with Dorian that led me to end our relationship.
So Drew took me in, cared for me, and fed me while I tried to cope with it.
Though it took a couple weeks to make things up with Dorian.
And so I left Drew's place, leaving him only a text when I should have waited to tell him in person.
Not that I'm saying that warranted death, but I'm the one who was wrong to both Drew and Dorian in the first place.
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Also, it wasn't dating! Not... really.]
I don't know.
If he took it so badly, I don't know how the wolf inside him must've taken it.
Bad enough to get inebriated, for certain. One can only make so many good decisions in that state.
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Wait, I did bump into him in the haunted house during last month's swear-in event.
I don't know that really counts.
Though when he initially reacted, I had told him that I'd try not to bother him from then on.
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He was running from the things up there.
Our powers weren't working for some reason.
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I mean, at the time, I still felt bad about the way I had run off.
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Telling me off should've been good enough, and I tried to respect that.
I wasn't insinuating I deserved to die for what happened.
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It probably happened because our feelings turned us against each other.
I don't know he feels exactly like that right now.
But there seems to always be this lingering feeling as if I'm doing things wrong.
At any rate, I could ignore it with some effort.
I wish people didn't have to see or know about all that.
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But I do have to agree with you.
Because he did take it too far.
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