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There must be some anomaly. [Chilton was adamant about that. He was convinced that, statistically speaking, Toby had been thrust into a numerically astounding amount of adventure. And given that the man himself was mild-mannered enough (at least, when compared to Chilton's other patients), the onus of agency was given to those who were attracted to Tobias.]

But it is good that the emotional content has stabilized for you. I imagine you'd rather keep your therapy to conversational only? Or would you be open to different medications? Given how this condition can affect your mood...

If there is, I don't know what it is... [It's only as Toby trails off, and as Chilton continues that he thinks of an answer.

But first, to answer Chilton's question,]

But yeah, let's go with conversational for now. Things have calmed—for now—but there's no telling how long they'll stay that way.

[After all, the uproar of Toby going to jail and news of Kanaya's heroism making the Majority Report would happen a couple or so weeks after this conversation. So this might simply have been a lull.

Going back to anomalies...]

Wait, about what you'd said before... Why, all of this really started happening when I came back to life. [That... probably was it, right? Because Toby couldn't have imagined resurrecting, and yet it happened because of Dorian. He wished for Toby to return, and so Toby had, and then so many things happened one after another. The very fact he's as alive (as any vampire could be, that is) must be the anomaly.]

The catalyst, perhaps. Resurrection.

[Which in of itself was fairly remarkable, and it wasn't incoherent that such would become the instigating domino. Chilton hummed to himself for a moment, absorbed in thought.]

The reasoning behind my desire to pinpoint a catalyst, Tobias, is because it is very likely this pattern will continue. And instead of enduring the befuddlement, we must consider how and why it has occurred -- because at some point I imagine you will need to make peace with that fact.

[Traumatic things could still easily manifest in Toby's near future; it was more resilient, it was healthier, to address such potential at the helm.]

[With piqued interest, Toby carefully considers Chilton's suggestion. He died in Dorian's arms as the sun rose; at the time, he'd had no hope or expectation of coming back. There simply wasn't any way. Even though he'd changed his mind, it was already too late. Covering Toby up at that point would have been utterly useless.]

Yes, I guess that's true. I should. But what if it's— [Here, he pauses as if interrupted by his own thoughts. Or perhaps it's hesitation. Before he continues, he rolls his eyes and looks slightly exasperated and incredulous.] What if it's some kind of magic? Like, say, a contract with some kind of magical tarot card deck?

[Because Dorian has told Toby the story, and though Toby thinks on more realistic terms than Dorian does, there simply isn't any other plausible explanation for his return to life. Or unlife. Whatever.]

That's an oddly specific hypothetical.

[Chilton canted his head to the side, considering why Toby might have espoused this sudden, and seemingly spontaneous, insight.]

Are you speaking in idle example, or do you know someone with... Influence over some kind of magical tarot deck?

Ah— [Toby immediately looks embarrassed when Chilton asks.] Well... I don't actually know someone with that kind of. Power or influence.

[It's obvious from his tone of voice that this still sounds stupid to him after the fact. Because seriously, it's still difficult for Toby to believe it, let alone relay it.]

But. Dorian got a tarot reading that granted him his heart's desire: me.

[But Toby doesn't know it wasn't really the deck fulfilling its contract with Dorian so much as Lucifer's design, placing Dorian's soul in Toby's body.]

Isn't that cute?

[Though by the deadpan delivery from Chilton's line of a mouth, the sincerity behind the sentiment was in doubt. Toby's story continuously looped back to Dorian Gray. That was something to track certainly; it somewhat reminded Chilton of how so much of Baltimore looped back to Hannibal Lecter. There were certain men, he noted, who had the significant trademark of an infinite loop.

Where else was that symbol seen? Above the Magician's head in a tarot deck?]

What would you do, Tobias, if Dorian was ever exported out?

[The psychiatrist wanted to target that codependency.]

[It's clear Chilton doesn't quite buy it, but why would anyone? While arguably more of a realist than Dorian, it didn't take Toby too long to accept it. What with Ivor's appearance, dealing with the siren, falling for the trap set by Victoria Lowell, and Toby's love bringing Dorian's portrait to life... There's no doubt Dorian is surrounded by strangeness, and Toby seems firm in his conviction that Dorian's contract with the tarot cards had revived him.

If the doctor hadn't asked a follow-up question, Toby might be trying to insist upon the story's likely veracity. But the question proves a proper diversion, as this isn't the first time someone's brought it up with him. Indeed, what would Toby do if Dorian were ever exported out, returned home to where he may or may not still have a Toby.

He pauses, opens his mouth like he's going to answer but doesn't say anything, and shuts his mouth again as he thinks. It takes some time before he answers, and it's clear he's uncomfortable with this train of thought.]

...I'd. Ah, well. I'd have to carry on, undoubtedly. It's not like I'd really have a choice. [From what he's heard, there's no real way to control the Porter, right? It brings people here when it wants to; it releases them when it sees fit. As frustrating as the thought is, imPorts are, for the most part, transients, are they not? Dorian's been here for, what, one and a half years by now? And there still may be others who haven't seen their homes for even longer...

Not only that, but even if Toby decides he'd rather end things without Dorian, he'd only come back again. The nanites would see to it, no doubt, whether he sits in the sun and waits to die, or gets his throat torn open by a werewolf as it had been a few weeks before.

Still, his brows crease as he frowns. Dorian had been able to carry on without him for thirty years, and then some.] ...I guess it'd take time, but I'd just. I'd have to build a life without him.

Edited 2016-02-04 14:04 (UTC)

It is like a second death, isn't it? Losing him like that, remaining here while he's back home and acting the amnesiac to your time spent here. [Chilton grinned, briefly, his smile like a blade. Casually he waved over a waiter, fully prepared to take care of the full tab.] Tragic.

[He could always claim that he didn't say this out of unfettered cruelty; it wasn't as if Chilton had no romantic attachment inherent to this world, he was situated in a similar position. That was a comfortable fact to recline against.]

But I am glad we have been able to talk about this, Tobias. I think you have insight into the grander scheme of things. And a spirit of resilience, well, that is necessary. [The psychiatrist tilted his head to the side, his eyes widening for theatrical effect.]

It is rather difficult to teach resilience as a coping mechanism.

[And Chilton would not consider himself a teacher.]

You'll give me a call, won't you? If something... Flares up.

[He took his credit card out from the wallet in his breast pocket, surrendering it to the wait staffer.]

If anything gets too magical?

[The cruelty in Chilton's expression, that cutting smile of his, doesn't go unnoticed. Feeling mocked whilst faced with the cruel reality of the doctor's words, Toby can't help glaring back in response.

Then, Chilton closes the session out, leaving Toby with some frustrating food for thought.]

Right. Of course. Thank you. For... your time. And the drinks too, of course.

[Here, he manages to produce a more neutral expression despite his irritation. Though that's mostly because he'd much rather not feel any one emotion strongly enough for Drew to fuss over it.]

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i cannot believe how long ago this was actually supposed to happen, LOL

that's a good point!

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