hisheartsdesire | [ic] Contact

Well, you've measured up to his level of maturity, if that counts for anything.

[His tone is sharp and he's scowling back at Toby now, looking him in the eye again.]

I was starting to respect you, Toby. You were finally taking responsibility for your actions. You were finally putting self-pity behind you - or so I thought. Are you going to continue acting like an adult, or are you going to start acting like a child again?

[Toby can't help glaring back before deciding not to fight Edgeworth on this one. Because he has a point and really isn't as bad as Ivor.

The fire in his eyes doesn't quite go out so much as it fades into a more neutral expression.]

I'm not going to go back to that. [He huffs, perhaps childishly.] Just now, you reminded me of someone. I thought we were close, I trusted him, and then he turned his back on me. Abandoned me without warning. There's more to it, but really, all of that is beside the point because you aren't him.

To be frank, this... situation, the current state between us mirrors something that has happened before. The main difference is that he betrayed me in almost every possible way, whereas you— [Toby cuts himself off, takes a deep breath, and lets out a heavy sigh.] There's really no point in grudging against you, you aren't him, and I truly enjoyed our friendship. I want to believe there's still hope.

[He has some gall, complaining to him about abandonment. How could he expect him to stand by his side after knowing what he had done? How could he forgive him? Edgeworth scowls into his drink, but considers past events. He considers those he had written off in his past, men and women that he had assumed the worst of until they had proved him wrong. Men and women that he had dared to show mercy and softness towards.

Most importantly, though, he remembers the people who gave him a chance, despite his own secrets and his own misdeeds. When he thinks on their kindness, though, he remembers Toby's calm acceptance of him, and the trust he had shown. His expression grows distant and he breathes heavily, shaking his head.]

...I'm not sure if there is. Toby...

[His voice is quiet and stiff, but when he looks up at him, his voice turns firm.]

How well did we know each other back then? How well did we honestly know one another?

[Toby drops his gaze to process Edgeworth's questions and reflect on things. Though, it honestly hurts that Edgeworth doesn't see hope for restoring their friendship. But then again, Edgeworth had been rather cynical from the start, and Toby guesses he shouldn't have expected that to change. Only while they were still on good terms, it felt like Edgeworth had cast that cynicism aside...]

I don't know. I guess... that when we first met, I saw someone who could use a little help. And that's all right, because everyone could use some once in a while. Sure, you were terribly cynical, but I thought I saw someone lonely in there. Someone who wanted to have friends, to have company, to relax even a little bit once in a while.

[He lets out a tired sigh.]

Beyond that, you have a reputation. And your pride. First and foremost, you uphold justice. You can't just sit back and watch people suffer or destroy each other. You're proactive. [A pause.] Shall I go on, or do you want to talk about me?

[Edgeworth goes tense again. He doesn't need Toby's help and he never did, and the insinuation is nothing less than insulting. But... even if he didn't need his help, he did appreciate his company. He appreciated the distraction from weightier issues. He appreciated how Toby stood by his side, despite the rumors that came out. A weight settles on his chest as his face tightens in a grimace, and when Toby finishes, he shakes his head.]

That... that won't be necessary. But as for you...

[He takes another heavy breath. Another sip from his drink.]

I thought that you were kind. Patient. Gentle, even. But unfortunately, I've known my fair share of kind, gentle people, none of whom were genuine about it. For them, softness was nothing but a mask, a distraction to hide a darker, more vicious nature. When I heard the news of what you had done, I assumed that you were cut from the same cloth as them. However...

[He swallows the lump in his throat and shifts in his chair, adjusting his position]

However, none of them would have taken responsibility for their actions the way you did. They would have continued their act for as long as they could get away with it, and as long as it suited them.

[The first words Edgeworth uses to describe what he'd thought of Toby are definitely not the words Toby would ever use to describe himself. But given thought, he could see where Edgeworth got the misconception, even though it wasn't Toby's intention to mislead the other man.

More importantly, Toby is still misleading people about the fact his power here doesn't work the same way it did back at home. It took some measure of adjusting to, and the fact is that he had performed many deceptions back home. Things might not be so different, Toby himself might not be so changed if it weren't for that. Should anyone here discover this, then what? The thought terrifies him.

Toby thinks that he should come out with it sometime. He maintains a neutral expression.]

I see. I understand now, Edgeworth. And I thank you for seeing some good in me—as well as change. [A pause. It's important to tread carefully.] For the longest time, I have been a believer that there is a certain level of deception involved in any relationship. That people will always have some secret or other.

What are your thoughts on that?

[He purses his lips together, breathing in through his nostrils, not quite meeting Toby's gaze]

There was a time where I had taken that fact for granted, assuming it was the natural state of things. And that's what made relationships so dangerous. You could never tell what secrets a person held in their heart, nor what they would do with yours should they uncover them.

[He breathes out and grips his glass, not lifting it up]

So I avoided them altogether. It seemed safer that way. However...

[He shakes his head]

I've started to question the wisdom in that.

[He nods, understanding. But all the same, he still has something to hide.] So have I.

[He exhales a long, airy breath.]

Since coming here, hiding what I am and what I did has only caused problems. Not just for me, but others. Keeping these secrets... really hasn't been worth all of that. That said, I'm trying to be more open about it and am discovering people are far more accepting about it in this place, during these times.

[That's his way of dealing with the other secret he still keeps. Maybe in time, he'll mention it, but he doesn't want to ruin what's happening now.]

So, I guess all of this begs the question... What now?

[Where do they stand? Is this how it ends, a peaceful, accepting, and fairly understanding parting of ways? Are they starting sort of from scratch but not quite square one? Or are they at something of a neutral in-between?]

To be honest?

[He shrugs and shakes his head]

I don't know, and to be frank, I'm surprised that you still want anything to do with me. Our friendship, as it were, was based on misconceptions. Neither of us were as... kind as the other had hoped for. However...

[He meets Toby's gaze, his expression serious]

Whatever happens, I will hold no grudge against you. I will not hound you, I will not seek punishment, I will not rub salt in your wounds. It's true that you can't change what you've done. However, piling on additional penance won't do any good, either. Simply put, you're not the man I assumed you were when we last met. Like I've said, you've taken responsibility, as best as anyone in your situation can. So long as you continue to do so, I have no reason to mistreat you.

[Edgeworth is right that Toby isn't who Edgeworth thought he was or expected him to be. And Toby wonders that perhaps he'd projected his own thirst for companionship on Edgeworth when they first met. It's possible both of them saw something they desperately wanted or needed to see in the other. Not necessarily from the very beginning, but as something that planted itself in their relationship and only continued to grow as time wore on.

At any rate, they're not exactly starting from scratch or a blank slate, nor are they writing each other off. It's like finding neutral ground, and if their paths cross, then so be it. So again, he solemnly nods.]

Thanks. I think I get it.

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wrapping this thread up, i think