hisheartsdesire | [ic] Contact

Toby, all of this started when you weren't here and continued when we were on our break.

[ Dorian's trying to be gentle, trying to be calm, but there's an underlying hint of aggravation in his voice. Did Toby always think that he wouldn't be good enough? Was this something that Dorian would have to do time and time again, reassure Toby that he was good enough, that he did matter, that Dorian picked him for a reason?

He'd gladly do that time and time again. After all, he loved Toby. But Dorian, king of ego and self-image, can't help but be a little bit put out that Toby's narcissism doesn't match his own. ]

I don't care about Chilton anymore. Hell, I don't care about Petrov any more. I married you, didn't I?

[ and doesn't that say something? ]

[...Toby has to give him that much. Because it's true, and Dorian chose to cast everyone else aside just for Toby. And sure, Dorian hadn't exactly been thrilled at the idea of marriage, but here they are now. Together, for better or worse. This just happens to be one of the worse parts, right?

Oh, why can't it just be better all the time?

Besides, Toby had promised to trust Dorian. It's just so difficult when Dorian winds up coming to him with things like this, destroying their relationships with how many others? Maybe back in their world, Toby wouldn't be so inclined to care, but the way things have worked out in this world so far have forced him out of that idealistic bubble. Whether they like it or not, they should at least attempt to be even slightly mindful of the world around them.

Well, that. And Toby sort of actually cares for other imPorts more than he realises or would admit.]

You're right. [His expression softens with understanding as he rises from his seat to approach Dorian. Moving to take a place by Dorian's side,] I owe you an apology. Because really, you're the most wonderful person I know, and I. Well.

[Toby knows he's been so terribly possessive and demanding since arriving here.]

I could stand to be more grateful and appreciative, first of all.

[Dorian went through with his scheme, trying to break will and bother Chilton, yeah. But like he'd just said, he's done with Chilton, and as for Yuri? It looks like Toby really shouldn't worry about him any longer. At any rate, all of that was a mistake. A really big, messy, and complicated mistake, but still a mistake. Toby makes those, and Dorian does, too.

Taking Dorian's hand into his cold one,]

I'm sorry, dear. I really shouldn't have... [ made it all about himself? True, but, ] You know. Made all of this into such an ordeal. It's not like you could've known it would all lead to this.

[Definitely nailed it this time, right? Regardless, he maintains eye contact as he lifts Dorian's hand to press his lips on Dorian's knuckles.]

[ Dorian doesn't say 'yeah you owe me an apology' but he's kind of thinking it. Does Toby think he's so unfaithful that he'll drop him like yesterday's news? What exactly does Dorian need to do to change that? Because if he can, he's going to attempt to find a way to do so.

As Toby kisses Dorian's hand, Dorian reaches around Toby's waist with his other hand, pulling the vampire closer to him. ]

Trust me. If I knew this would have happened, I'd have jumped ship months ago. [ and that much is true. ] But thank you, Toby. Thank you for understanding.

[ At least he hopes Toby understands. Oh buddy, please understand. ]

[No, Dorian. He just is extremely possessive and can't stand that you and he should want or need other people at all! And worse, having been gone—Thirty. Years. Toby!—for so long, coming to this place to find out about another man notable enough that Dorian could've replaced him!

All the same, seeing the mistakes Toby himself had made in his first few months... It seems so easy to do that, find someone to be comfortable with in a place like this. But that's why he'd wanted to marry Dorian in the first place, why it hurt when Dorian first rejected him.

Shaking his head, looking somewhat embarrassed with pleading eyes,] I mean, really. I should've been that way from the very start.

[It's so nice being close to Dorian, being wanted and especially loved by Dorian.]

I just want you so. much, I get carried away, and I don't even express enough just how grateful I am. To you and everything you do...

[ Dorian just cuddles up next to Toby. This is good! Toby being grateful, Toby not being too mad, Toby still wanting him. This fiasco was a goddamn fiasco, but if Toby and he still managed to push through this, then that would be absolutely worth it. ]

I'm grateful to you too, [ Dorian can't help but muse, giving Toby a small little smile. ] I'm sure getting thrown into all a different world was chaotic as is, having to deal with my drama on top of it? You're a veritable saint.

[ because hoo boy does Dorian know he has drama. He's Dorian Gray, drama is just part of the package. ]

I appreciate it, you're more than a handful! [Said with a teasing chuckle and then a soft sigh.

While Toby hasn't exactly forgotten the most recent feelings of frustration and betrayal, he's more focused on looking at that beautiful face. It's gone from frowning and upset to one of those tentative and tender little smiles. So Toby settles against Dorian and takes in simply being with Dorian.]

At least, try not to get into so much trouble, dear. Please?

[ Yeah, Dorian looks straight up sheepish at this. Whoops. His bad. He knows he's a bit of a horrible person and also so difficult to get along with. And yet, Toby loves him still. ]

That's the least I can do, I suppose. I'll only pick fights in private. [ a pause ] I'm joking, of course.

[At the mention of picking fights in private, Toby quickly shoots an almost alarmed glance at Dorian's face and searches his expression for the duration of the pause.

Toby actually chuckles at Dorian's joke, his expression softening into one of relief.]

I know, I know. I just wanted to be sure. Can't leave you alone for two seconds... and it's not like I ever want to.

[Seriously, why do they have to spend any time at all, ever, away from each other?]

Mmm, that's wonderful to hear. [ He says, as he snuggles closer towards Toby, little grin on his face. ]

Because I feel the same. I don't want to leave you alone either. Not now, not ever.

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