[ic] Contact

[hisheartsdesire]

Tobias may one day learn to change the greeting on his voicemail. Until then, there's only the default.

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[hisheartsdesire]

—There's no point; better off letting her think whatever she likes. Talking about it hardly ever changes anyone's mind anyway.

[Like Kanaya. And Sasha. And Laurie—even though Sasha said they'd understand. But no, none of them understand. Even Lucy, who is endlessly wonderful and kind, likely isn't much different from the rest.

Dorian makes him happy. And often enough, Drew does, too.]

It only wastes people's time. And breath.

[brushoff]

[ Toby may believe that. But Dorian, the person who was stubborn enough to hang around Toby until the man acknowledged his existence, does not believe that. Dorian's strategy of mending friendships that aren't broken beyond repair is 'badger them until they give in.' And, from his limited pool of reference, this isn't beyond repair. ]

If it makes you happy, it's not a waste of time.

[hisheartsdesire]

[He glances at Dorian and studies his expression before letting out a tired huff. They've had this argument before; perhaps not the exact same one, but certainly one very much like it. Though Toby's perspective had initially been positive when he first arrived, the consequences of siring fledglings and the fear gas and being driven from his home have all since worn him down. So now, where he might've tried to be more like Dorian in seeing beauty and light around him, all he sees are decay and darkness. Right now, Dorian is his only solace; what will Toby accomplish by arguing with him, too?

When he answers, his tone is tired, and his words are quick and rambling.]

I don't know—what makes me happy and what doesn't, what is or isn't a waste of time, who else should even matter anymore... I really don't know anymore, Dorian. So. I'm going to seek professional help.

[Which probably is for the better to avoid a repeat of what happened in the eighties.]

[brushoff]

[ It's a double-edged sword. Because Dorian knows that Toby's had a rough past few months. The swear-in, Laurie and Sasha, and now his spat with Lucy...it's enough to make anyone think of getting professional help, especially someone with a history like Toby's. On one hand, he's all for Toby doing whatever it takes to get better. They both know what could happen if Toby was steeped in darkness and regret for too long.

But on the other hand...God, how Dorian had mixed feelings about Frederick Chilton. He honestly didn't know what to make of the man, which annoyed Dorian immensely. His kingdom for another imPort psychiatrist. ]

From Chilton, right? [ of course from Chilton. Why on earth would they willingly go see someone normal? ] If you feel this is best for you, I'm behind you all the way.

[ just while also trying to keep as many eyes on Chilton as he possibly can ]

[hisheartsdesire]

Yeah, Doctor Chilton. Nine in the evening, this Thursday.

[Hardly any point keeping that from him now, especially since Toby feels plenty damaged as things are. Moving on from the problems he knows he can't talk about with Dorian to having Dorian worry about who he confides in feels far better. More so that Dorian has relented, supporting Toby in spite of having reservations.]

Oh, I've started taking classes in Heropa on Wednesdays, by the way. Just... thought I'd let you know.

[For no particular reason that he knows of, but more likely because he just wants to feel loved and cared for, rather than think of the same old problems that have come back to haunt them.]

[brushoff]

Classes for what? [ because classes? What kind of classes is he talking about? It's partly taking an interest in Toby's hobbies, partly to change the conversation away from Chilton before Dorian ends up inadvertently stepping in it again, but also partly because wait, what classes? ]

[hisheartsdesire]

Art, actually. In a variety of different mediums.

[Here, Toby tries to seem as excited and happy about it as he initially had been, but the fire's gone out of him for now.]

If you know Clary Fray— [Though he's pretty sure Dorian does, much like everyone else by now.] —then I'll have you know she was the one who'd invited me to go with her, even going through the trouble of finding one that they offer at night...

[brushoff]

[ Clary Fray...there's a moment where he frowns, trying to put the name to the face, then he lights up with recognition. ] We've talked before, once or twice. I don't really know her, though.

[ He's just making her a fake ID. Still, as Toby's trying to seem excited and happy, Dorian's trying as well. Partly because hey, he actually IS excited and happy about this (Toby's out doing stuff and making friends!) but he also just wants to try and perk Toby up a little bit. ] Still, those classes sound wonderful. I bet you'll have a grand time.