hisheartsdesire | [ic] Contact

[He is so ashamed.]

The deal I made was that I got to feed in exchange for him to use some magic on me.
The magic didn't quite work out the way he'd expected, I think.
I died.
He couldn't just leave me there for you two to deal with.
So I think most of the mess was from him trying to get me out of the house.

[ Well, that's terrifying. ]

he killed you in our own house??

I'm almost certain it wasn't on purpose!
It's not like he'd planned on that happening.

[So far as he knows, that is. He's not really sure what to make of his relationship with Abdu—Matthew.]

that doesnt sound good
what if it happens again?
are you okay after all that?

[ How on earth does the whole resurrection deal work in this world? She doesn't want to find out personally. ]

I'll decline any other deals of the sort.
It's not going to happen again.

Several lifetimes. [ What a strange way to put it. D’Artagnan sounds dubious. ] Well then, I’m glad for the familiarity.

[ Tobias seems sincere. It’s better than d’Artagnan could have hoped, and really there’s nothing else that can be said. Words are less important than deeds, and he will continue to watch, and keep Lucy safe. But as far as words can go, he doesn’t think Tobias can say more than he already has. ]

I don’t believe you meant to hurt her, and I don’t believe you would willingly do so again. Only I ask that you keep watch on your Dorian. He lacks your sincerity, and to speak plainly, your kindness. He treated her poorly before this happened, and now it is worse.

[ And d’Artagnan doesn’t trust him. As convincing as Tobias has been, Dorian was the very opposite. ]

i am sorry all that happened to you
or that laurie and i didnt notice

[ She feels guilty that someone died right under her nose. Maybe she could have done something to prevent it. ]

Oooookay.

[Unseen, he frowns upon hearing about Dorian. Not because it's unbelievable, but because it's true. Not even Tobias is fully spared of such cruelties because Dorian is indeed a selfish man whose own heart will always come before anyone else's.]

I'll do whatever I can... But sorry to say, I'm not privy to all he does, he is more familiar with this world and its technologies than I am, and my actions are limited to the nighttime due to a condition that comes with my power, which is something carried over from my home world, unfortunately. It will be difficult, but I will try my best. I'll ask him to keep away from her; more often than not, he tries to appease me and gives in to my requests.

[Not that Tobias is giving up before even trying, but there are many hurtles to overcome...]

[Maybe he's being self-pitying again, but he feels really down and out right now. He's even run out on Dorian, only to realize that Dorian had been perfectly faithful. And that Dorian isn't angry, which he perhaps should be. So, Toby's taking everything out on himself.]

No, you're all right.
I'm the one who should be sorry for not knowing other, more acceptable ways to deal with the hand I've been dealt.
Putting everyone in risk every time I do something as routine as feeding.
Laurie was right to tell me to go.

doesnt the hospital offer blood? does it not help?

[He's quiet for a moment, stewing in his stupidity.]

God, I'm... sorry. You're only trying to help, he asked you to call me, and you got dragged into explaining something that you didn't really have to at all because I realized soon enough that Dorian wasn't at fault. Really, I'm just... I'm sorry.

Blood will only nourish me if taken fresh within a certain period of time.
Which is why the fresh blood banks at hospitals don't work.
Who would they ask for blood donations to give someone like me?
They can't ask their patients for something like that.
And I imagine whoever they do ask for blood probably would get spooked finding out it's going to a vampire.
People don't seem to understand when I say that I've tried as many alternatives as possible over the course of hundreds of years.
It's as if I haven't been trying hard enough, despite the fact that I've had years and years to try and keep trying.
There really is no simple solution to this sort of thing.
Do you want me to list all the things I've already tried at this point?

sorry i dont mean to disregard your efforts
i suppose animal blood doesnt work at all

No, it doesn't work.
Feeding from other immortals does seem to work.
I've never tried to feed on imPorts who aren't immortal.
And with the magic or whatever happened to me, I wouldn't be able to without obtaining clear and informed consent anyway.

Really, it's.

It's fine. Go find him. Make up. Okay?

[Resigned:] ...I'll see about it. Thank you, Billy.

[He sighs before ending the call.]

Thank you.
And I'm sorry.

Don't be.

do you mean you have to ask people?

Well, the three I feed from now already knew from the start.
But I think the simple answer is yes, I'll have to ask people.
Probably have to answer all their questions satisfactorily before the magic allows me to feed.
That's what I'm guessing because I haven't really tried it yet.
Though now I think it's in everyone's best interests if I'm thorough to begin with.

maybe
that reminds me do you know other vampires here who could help you?
theres kanaya

We might be different types.
Ms. Maryam seems perfectly capable of sustaining herself with the synthetics.
And I don't think she actually burns up in sunlight.
As things are, she's already taking care of the fledglings I sired.
I'm the reason they're on her hands now.
She has a rather low opinion of me, regardless of my efforts to improve anything.

different types of vampire i see
you cant ask her for help?

I don't know. Our past interactions have been anything but pleasant.
She distrusts me and has shown little to no faith in my ability to change.
I tried to prove myself once by taking care of one of the fledglings.
And she took that one away from me after deeming me and my company inappropriate.
It's as if asking anything of her is a request to be spoonfed.
I have no idea how to approach her, let alone what sort of help to ask for.

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