hisheartsdesire | [ic] Contact

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[ic] Contact

Tobias may one day learn to change the greeting on his voicemail. Until then, there's only the default.

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I'll decline any other deals of the sort.
It's not going to happen again.

i am sorry all that happened to you
or that laurie and i didnt notice

[ She feels guilty that someone died right under her nose. Maybe she could have done something to prevent it. ]

[Maybe he's being self-pitying again, but he feels really down and out right now. He's even run out on Dorian, only to realize that Dorian had been perfectly faithful. And that Dorian isn't angry, which he perhaps should be. So, Toby's taking everything out on himself.]

No, you're all right.
I'm the one who should be sorry for not knowing other, more acceptable ways to deal with the hand I've been dealt.
Putting everyone in risk every time I do something as routine as feeding.
Laurie was right to tell me to go.

doesnt the hospital offer blood? does it not help?

Blood will only nourish me if taken fresh within a certain period of time.
Which is why the fresh blood banks at hospitals don't work.
Who would they ask for blood donations to give someone like me?
They can't ask their patients for something like that.
And I imagine whoever they do ask for blood probably would get spooked finding out it's going to a vampire.
People don't seem to understand when I say that I've tried as many alternatives as possible over the course of hundreds of years.
It's as if I haven't been trying hard enough, despite the fact that I've had years and years to try and keep trying.
There really is no simple solution to this sort of thing.
Do you want me to list all the things I've already tried at this point?

sorry i dont mean to disregard your efforts
i suppose animal blood doesnt work at all

No, it doesn't work.
Feeding from other immortals does seem to work.
I've never tried to feed on imPorts who aren't immortal.
And with the magic or whatever happened to me, I wouldn't be able to without obtaining clear and informed consent anyway.

do you mean you have to ask people?

Well, the three I feed from now already knew from the start.
But I think the simple answer is yes, I'll have to ask people.
Probably have to answer all their questions satisfactorily before the magic allows me to feed.
That's what I'm guessing because I haven't really tried it yet.
Though now I think it's in everyone's best interests if I'm thorough to begin with.

maybe
that reminds me do you know other vampires here who could help you?
theres kanaya

We might be different types.
Ms. Maryam seems perfectly capable of sustaining herself with the synthetics.
And I don't think she actually burns up in sunlight.
As things are, she's already taking care of the fledglings I sired.
I'm the reason they're on her hands now.
She has a rather low opinion of me, regardless of my efforts to improve anything.

different types of vampire i see
you cant ask her for help?

I don't know. Our past interactions have been anything but pleasant.
She distrusts me and has shown little to no faith in my ability to change.
I tried to prove myself once by taking care of one of the fledglings.
And she took that one away from me after deeming me and my company inappropriate.
It's as if asking anything of her is a request to be spoonfed.
I have no idea how to approach her, let alone what sort of help to ask for.

really? ive spoken to her a couple of times and shes never been like that
maybe i can ask her?

It's up to you.
If you do, I don't want her thinking I put you up to it.
She thinks me pathetic enough as it is.
Frankly, I don't blame her.

i dont think you are

[Well. That's a surprise. Maybe Sasha's just... nice. She must be, or else she wouldn't be putting any effort into this conversation with him for the sake of clarity and understanding. Still, in the end, she stood by Laurie and drove him out.]

Thank you.
But you're probably one of the few who actually feels that way.

laurie and i were just scared
we didnt understand or know what was going on

But that's totally natural. I really should've expected it.
Somehow, I just thought things would be different here.
Maybe in a new world, I could start over with a new life.
I was scared, too. I didn't know how to tell you about what I am.
Not that it really matters now.
I can't change what happened between us or how it happened.
So there's really no point in worrying about it.

all you can do is do better right?

[ She can sort of understand that. ]

Yeah. It's all I've tried to do, really.
I might as well keep at it, is all.

[Not that anything good seems to come of his efforts, so he thinks.]

i think so too
i need to go now tobias
but i hope you take care?

Of course.
I will.
Thank you for this.

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