hisheartsdesire | [ic] Contact

[ Toby. He could hear Toby's voice, Toby was here and safe and alive and that's what mattered. He can't help but let out a sigh of relief as Dorian scrambles towards his hiding place, brushing past trees and a little bit of underbrush in the process. ]

You look like shit. [ but it's said with a small smile, a worried smile, a smile that's pure happiness. Because what else would he say? I was so worried when I got that call, I thought something bad had happened? I'm so happy you're alive? He had no idea what else could be said in this situation.

So, Dorian walked over to Toby, looking the man over, trying to figure out just what on Earth happened. ]

[There are signs of a fight all around them. Plots of dirt and grass pounded or kicked up by stamping feet or people running. A small sapling ploughed into the lower trunk of a larger tree, as if something had flung it over. Broken branches and splintered bark littered about.

When Dorian approaches, Toby can't help looking glad and relieved. He even lets out a small chuckle, his tension gradually leaving him.]

Oh, thanks. [Then he offers a small, reassuring smile as he reaches out to Dorian. Toby's clothes are rumpled, torn, and dirty, and it's now apparent he has gashes both above and below the elbow of one of his arms.] I feel absolutely fabulous.

[Which must be why he sounds exhausted.]

[ Dorian gingerly steps over some of the broken branches—what could even cause this to begin with? It had to be strong, it had to be powerful...

Still, as Toby reaches out to him, Dorian leans in, attempting to offer himself as balance. When Toby says he feels fabulous though (which Dorian rightfully takes as code for 'he feels like shit'), Dorian tilts his head in the opposite direction, baring his neck. ]

Drink. It'll make you feel better, after all.

[Toby must be familiar with this place and trust that no one will find them, because he doesn't hesitate when Dorian offers. Wrapping his good arm around Dorian, Toby leans close and needfully sinks his fangs into Dorian's neck. Quickly, he drinks, and it isn't long before he feels his injuries healing up so much faster.

Soon, he's had his fill, and simply stands there, clinging Dorian close in a tight embrace. He tries not to tremble at the memory of the fight, but he can't stop himself thinking of how fearful the wolf had been. Drew had said before that Toby doesn't want to meet the wolf, and now he could see the man was right.]

Can we go home first, please? I'd rather not discuss it out here...

[ Dorian lets out a small murmur of pain when Toby sings his fangs into Dorian's neck—he knows it's coming and yet it still takes him off guard every time. He remains still as the vampire drinks, getting his fill. He's staying put until Toby's fine, until Toby thinks he's had enough, Toby is priority number one with regards to this right now, damn his own health.

So when Toby breaks off and pulls him in a tight hug, Dorian can't help but give him a woozy little smile, the woozy smile of someone who's just lost a lot of blood quickly (however, he can feel his body start to replenish, his blood start to restore itself.) Dorian hugs back as well, squeezing Toby tightly, as if by pulling the man close to him like this, Toby will never leave. ]

Of course, [ Dorian simply responds with a nod. He...isn't letting go of Toby, though. ]

[Nor does Toby let go of Dorian or make any move to leave. Not yet. Instead, he nuzzles Dorian's neck and just breathes him in, trying to stop shaking, trying to put thoughts of Drew and the wolf out of his mind. He tries not to cry, which perhaps is the least successful of his efforts.]

I wish I'd gotten home last night. I wish I'd gotten away.

[Toby hides his face in Dorian's neck, and it's possible Dorian feels teardrops against his skin, some rolling to the inside of his shirt.]

It's okay, [ Dorian can't help but say as he pulls Toby close to him as he feels the teardrops against his skin. God. He knows this feeling. He knows this feeling of being helpless, of feeling like you could have done something more, of wishing that no matter what you did, you wish it wasn't that. Dorian doesn't know what to do—in response to his last death he got drunk and threw himself straight to whatever warm body he could find. But Toby...Toby was different. And that's why he loved him.

He's not gonna say that he wishes that Toby had gotten away also, because isn't that obvious? Instead, Dorian simply says, ] It's okay and I know.

[It's so much easier to stay like this... because Toby can hardly understand his thoughts. Because there's a voice in his head, one that's screaming so loud that Toby can't hear himself think. He wonders if he's sick, and hopes that staying like this will make the pain subside. But after... who knows how long, as he softly weeps into the juncture between Dorian's neck and shoulder, Toby finds himself feeling more ill than he could ever recall.

So he finally pulls away, whispering,] Let's go.

[It's notable that as he moves along, Toby appears to be fighting the urge to drunkenly sway, which is unlike him because... well, he never gets drunk. Not really, anyway.]

[ In between Toby drunkenly swaying (which Dorian does indeed notice because what) and Dorian being a little dizzy from blood loss, it probably takes them a little bit to scramble up out of the wooded area of the park. A little part of Dorian can't help but think God, they look like a disaster. Still, Dorian's slowly regaining his strength as his portrait works it's magic while Toby...isn't. ]

Are you alright?

[How should he put this? He doesn't want to reference dying, not in any capacity. Because watching the sunrise was one thing—Dorian doesn't know about that little experiment with Abduxel.]

I... don't know. I've never felt this way before, it's strange. [A beat, and another swaying step.] It's everywhere.

[ Whaaaaaat the hell. ]

What are you talking about? What's everywhere?

Screaming, somewhere inside and all around. The other times that I—

[He doesn't want to say it, doesn't want to admit that he died again, but he should.]

The other times I came back, there's never been anything like this. It's like I'm hearing things, sensing things. I don't know where from.

That didn't happen when I came back either, [ Dorian admitted, with a frown on his face. But, admittedly, he had only died once. Maybe this was just something that happened when you died twice? Or maybe this was just some strange vampire response to death—Dorian had absolutely no idea. ]

We'll figure it out, though.

[He gives a series of small nods but has difficulty feeling reassured. Rather, he still feels queasy.]

You're right. Perhaps I'm still a little overwhelmed by what happened.

I don't blame you, [ Dorian muttered, with a small little frown. ] But hey, no matter what it is, getting you out of this park and back home can only help.

[Having been holding Dorian's hand, Toby now gives it a squeeze.] Thank you, Dorian. I love you...

[It also takes them some time moving from the park to the Porter, and while Dorian seems better by the moment, Toby doesn't seem much better. Though at least he isn't any worse. Still, they take the Porter to Maurtia Falls, and it seems that Toby's better off than when they'd been in Heropa. The screaming isn't quite as loud now that there's some distance between him and Drew, but he hasn't made that connection as of yet.

When they finally get to their apartment, Toby seems to breathe a little easier but otherwise seems... well, ill. Still, he tries to settle down; he needs to decide where to begin and how much he wants Dorian to know.]

So... I probably ought to explain, yeah?

[ Dorian was paying attention to Toby all the while, trying to see how he felt, how he was doing, trying to get any sort of gauge on the man's status right now. Because this was strange and new and a little bit confusing.

So, when they get home, when they're trying to settle down and while Dorian's watching Toby like a hawk, he can't help but nod. ]

Ah, sure. If you want to, that is. I'd certainly like an explanation, at least.

[To think that Drew still hunted him down despite his protestations and apologies... Toby is still shocked and stunned into disbelief. No, he really should've waited for Drew and told him in person rather than running right back to Dorian. But did he really deserve to die because of it?

He settles on the couch, shuddering again as the screaming and hatred within him crest, and it's all so much that Toby's fingers curl around the cushion and squeeze. Tightly. Once the feeling passes, he lets out a tired sigh.

It's probably for the best not to mention Drew just yet. Not until he understands what happened, and why. This is just a phase, yeah? Like when Lucy was mad at him; this time, it's just Drew, he'll come around someday. Maybe Dorian won't ever have to know—like the first time, when Abduxel's spell didn't quite work out as it should've.]

I was walking through Heropa when someone followed me. Didn't seem unusual at first, but then I noticed they were trying to catch up with me. There was something unsettling about it, so I ran, and they started chasing me down. I panicked and didn't know where to go, realized it'd only be a matter of time before they caught up. Thinking I didn't want anyone to get hurt, I stopped at that clearing. We got into a fight, and... I obviously lost.

[But he didn't just lose the fight; he lost his life in the process.]

[ Dorian knows that parts of this aren't adding up. Why would someone attack and kill Toby? Usually muggers just stole wallets and left. They'd beat you up, sure, but killing? Why didn't Toby kill this person in retaliation? Nobody would fault him for it, he would be acting in self-defense and he certainly didn't want to die. Besides, these things happen.

No, Dorian's going to keep his mouth shut on that for now. Toby'll tell him more details when he's ready. Right now he's going to be helpful, caring, and supportive. ]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It...it shouldn't happen to anyone, but especially not to you. [ Not to his Toby. ]

[Toby realizes his story doesn't check out, he knows Dorian doesn't actually buy it, but. In spite of what seems to be the strangest and most nauseating headache he's ever had, Toby somehow feels the slightest relief that Dorian isn't poking at its holes and how it's incongruous with reality in general.

Still, after Dorian's comments, he continues,]

...When I came back, it was almost evening. The sun had already started to set, and I hid among the shadows, covered up as best I could. For the most part, it worked.

[After a beat or two,] Am I really so exceptional, Dorian? Am I really so different from everyone else?

[Because why shouldn't Toby prompt Dorian if he wanted to flatter his heart's desire? It might be just what he needs to feel better and not really think of how sick he feels...]

[ What a silly question, Dorian can't help but think as he gives Toby a gentle smile. ]

You are to me.

[ and that's the truth. Dorian didn't know what other people saw in Toby, what they thought of the vampire, but at least for Dorian? Toby was absolutely perfect. He was beautiful, kind, caring, a beacon of light in Dorian's life. That gentle smile continues as Dorian gives Toby a look that's pure adoration. ]

[In return, Toby gives Dorian a small, abashed smile.

Teasing,] Oh, come now. You say that to everyone.

Well yeah, but it's true with regards to you.

[ That small smile is responded to by Dorian's gentle smile growing even bigger as he leans in to cuddle up next to Toby. ] I love you so much.

[He allows Dorian to cuddle up with him, then presses his forehead against Dorian's. The screaming grows a little louder, and Toby inwardly cringes at it as he squeezes his eyes shut.]

I love you too, Dorian... [The pain becomes enough that he quietly winces.] Oh, I... wish I knew what's happening...

Hey, we'll figure this out eventually, [ said with a small smile, as he reached over to give Toby a low, gentle hug. ] Don't worry too much about it.

[ic] Contact

we'll just wing it

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ok, so the bite was on toby's neck, which means it's all covered up even now

gotcha gotcha!

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